Lynn GrasbergSurprise! Unexpected Gifts

Surprise! Unexpected Gifts for Speaking, Writing, Etc.

by Lynn Grasberg

I've been visiting a friend who generously lent me her desk and her computer to write this article. I had no idea what danger lurked in her office until I picked up a pen to scribble a note, the pen peed on my hand, and now purple is EVERYWHERE! If I demurely fold my hands, you might not notice my indelible purple palm. However, there's a little dab on my cheek which won't wash off. Thank God it matches my outfit.

Is it a catastrophe . . . or a fashion statement? It's a good thing I don't have a speaking engagement this afternoon. Although, if I did, I'd find SOME way to make it work - dig up some more effective soap. OR do the gig in my clown persona. OR go in proudly displaying the ink and make it the point of my talk - handling unexpected events, for example.

Welcome the Ridiculous

Some people think the essence of a good life is having everything UNDER CONTROL. But any parent in charge of diapers (and any civil engineer) knows that basically, EVERYTHING leaks. Whether you want it to or not.

So, we have to plan for the unplannable and handle unexpected events with flexibility and humor. (Although sometimes it takes a little while for the humor to catch up with us.) If you're not ready to welcome the ridiculous, the unexpected, the totally inconvenient events of life as we know it, then it might just look like a string of pain, misery and annoyance. However, if you can say "YES, and . . ." to whatever happens, that is, accept what happens as a gift and build on it, then life is more creative, more fun, and . . . workable. Studying improv comedy/theater is a great way to develop your "yes, and . . ." ability to handle life's ups and downs, not to mention sideways surprises.

Apply the "Ridiculous" to Your Speaking

Being able to handle unexpected events onstage is a key to good speaking. They're part of the Purple Pen Package of life (see above), so you might as well be ready for them and enjoy them.

The key is making sure you stay connected to your audience NO MATTER WHAT. Even if the lights go out, or the sound system doesn't work, or someone is frowning at you from the middle of the front row, or the MC flubbed your introduction, or you have suddenly forgotten your name, not to mention your speech.

Look 'em In the Eye

Let's say, (hypothetically, of course) that sometime or other, you get a little nervous and forget what you were planning to say. Is this a catastrophe? Not if you stay connected to your audience.

Here's the secret: Look in your audiences eyes to find the next thing you are going to say. Don't commune with the ceiling or the floor while trying to gather your wits. When you break contact with your audience and look away, they feel abandoned, and some of them start looking at their watches. Instead of isolating yourself when your mind goes blank, breathe, look someone in the eye, and find your words right there. Numerous clients and students of mine have been amazed at how this has improved their speaking. It takes discipline but it works.

Final Warning

BEWARE of leaky purple pens, but use them to your advantage when they show up. This one turned into an article!